I knew the home buying process was going to be stressful, but I had no idea it was going to be THIS stressful. My anxiety has been at an all time high, and it’s been affecting just about every aspect of my life. The worst part is I don’t see that ending soon. It’s scary!
I have talked a lot about becoming healthy on this blog, and that hasn’t really included mental health, but it should. Social anxiety has been my burden for as long as I can remember. I deal with it well, and often force myself into uncomfortable situations just to continue my progress. In fact, most people have no idea that I struggle with this.
Lately I have been feeling a whole new form of anxiety. The pressure of finding the right house, staying in budget, educating myself on all the terms, learning about taxes, negotiating, mortgages, insurance,… I have been fully engulfed for months, and I’m starting to crack. That on top of everything else in life- it’s too much! This is the first time my anxiety has caused me physical discomfort. My throat swells with stress, my heart races, and my chest tightens. It’s easy to start to panic, or even feel like I’m dying. I am embarrassed to admit that I don’t always handle situations with ease, that I may cry about things, or even have panic attacks, but holding it in and keeping it secret only makes everything worse.
Also, I’m not alone in feeling this way as my constant google searching has revealed, so I take comfort in that. So maybe one of you might take comfort in knowing despite me being my usual happy self, I too struggle with depression from time to time behind closed doors, and that’s okay. I refuse to let anxiety control my life. This phase will pass, and I will keep breathing and keep moving forward.
My health is very important to me, physical and mental. No matter what else may be going on, I can’t lose focus on myself and my well being. Sometimes I just need a reminder to take a break and relax, let my mind be at ease, let my worries float away, let my body rest. So, with all that said, now I must take a deep breath and relax!
and on an unrelated note,..